We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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