Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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