Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You need a sexual gate keeper
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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