Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
