I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize