Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
