Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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