I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
