just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
