Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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