But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
