dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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