3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
wow bdsm is so cute
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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