I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
false alarm, still single
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
