I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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