I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
