The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
