he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just googled if crying burns calories
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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