hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
