you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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