I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
