I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
