Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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