i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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