I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
