He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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