i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
