i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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