I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
