i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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