We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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