Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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