I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
