I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
