M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
