I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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