I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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