Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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