Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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