I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
