Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
