Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
