The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
