The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
