His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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