After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
