i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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