Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
