maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
