you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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