Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
