i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
