He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
