Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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