woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
