some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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