ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just had sex bonerless
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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