You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
